如果你可以邀請世界上任何人共進晚餐，你會選誰？
If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would you choose?
你想出名嗎？以什麼方式？
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
在打電話之前，你會先演練要說什麼嗎？為什麼？
Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
對你來說，什麼是“完美”的一天？
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
你上次自己一個人唱歌是什麼時候？上次對著別人唱又是什麼時候？
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
如果你能活到90歲，並且在你生命的最後60年裡，要麼保持30歲的心智，要麼保持30歲的身體，你會選哪個？
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
你有沒有預感自己會怎麼死？
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
說出你和你對話對象可能有的三個共同點。
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
你生命中什麼東西讓你最感恩？
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
如果你能改變自己成長過程中的某件事，你會改變什麼？
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
用四分鐘時間，盡可能詳細地向對方講述你的人生故事。
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
如果你明天醒來能獲得一種品質或能力，你希望是什麼？
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
第二階段：加深理解（Set II）
如果一個水晶球能告訴你關於你自己、你的生活、你的未來或任何事的真相，你想知道什麼？
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
有什麼事是你一直夢想去做卻還沒做的？為什麼還沒做？
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
你人生中最大的成就是什麼？
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
在一段友誼中，你最看重什麼？
What do you value most in a friendship?
你最珍貴的回憶是什麼？
What is your most treasured memory?
你最糟糕的回憶是什麼？
What is your most terrible memory?
如果你知道自己一年後會突然去世，你會改變現在的生活方式嗎？為什麼？
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
對你來說，友誼意味著什麼？
What does friendship mean to you?
愛情和親情在你生活中扮演什麼角色？
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
輪流分享你認為對方身上的一個正面特質，總共說五個。
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
你的家庭有多親密和溫暖？你覺得你的童年比大多數人快樂嗎？
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
你覺得你和母親的關係如何？
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
第三階段：深入連結（Set III）
各自說三個以“我们”開頭的真實陳述，例如“我们都在這個房間裡感覺……”
Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
補全這個句子：“我希望有個人能和我一起……”
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
如果你和對方要成為親密的朋友，請告訴對方什麼是他/她需要知道的重要事情。
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
告訴對方你喜歡他/她什麼地方，說真話，說一些你不會對初次見面的人說的話。
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
和對方分享你生命中一個尷尬的時刻。
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
你上次在別人面前哭是什麼時候？獨自哭又是什麼時候？
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
告訴對方你已經喜歡他/她身上的什麼特質。
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
有什麼事是你覺得太嚴肅，不能開玩笑的？
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
如果你今晚會死去，且無法與任何人聯繫，你最遺憾沒有告訴某人什麼？為什麼還沒說？
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
你的房子著火了，裡面有你所有的東西。在救出你愛的人和寵物後，你還有時間安全地拿出一件東西，你會拿什麼？為什麼？
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
在你所有的家人中，誰的死會讓你最難過？為什麼？
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
分享一個個人的問題，並問對方如果是他/她會怎麼處理。同時問問對方，你的感受給他/她什麼印象。
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
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亞瑟·阿倫36個問題（中英文對照）
第一階段：初步了解（Set I）
If you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would you choose?
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
第二階段：加深理解（Set II）
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
What do you value most in a friendship?
What is your most treasured memory?
What is your most terrible memory?
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
What does friendship mean to you?
What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
第三階段：深入連結（Set III）
Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling…”
Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
如何自然地問這些問題
一開始可以用第一階段的問題（1-12），因為這些問題相對輕鬆，像是日常閒聊。例如，你可以從“如果可以請任何人吃飯，你會選誰？”（問題1）開始，這就像在聊她的興趣或偶像。根據她的回答，你可以接著問：“那你想出名嗎？像他/她那樣？”（問題2），這樣過渡就很自然。
不要急著問下一個問題，而是根據她的回答展開對話。比如她說完美的一天是去海邊（問題4），你可以說：“聽起來很棒！你喜歡海邊的什麼？”然後慢慢引到“有沒有什麼是你一直想做但還沒做的？”（問題14）。
把問題嵌入你們正在聊的話題中。例如，你們在聊朋友時，可以自然問：“你在友誼裡最看重什麼？”（問題16）。或者聊到家人時問：“你覺得你和家人很親密嗎？”（問題23）。這樣不會讓她覺得你在“問卷調查”她。
在她回答後，主動分享你的想法。例如問完“你最珍貴的回憶是什麼？”（問題17）後，你可以說：“我的是小時候跟家人去露營，你呢？”這樣對話變成雙向交流，而不是單方面提問。
第三階段的問題（25-36）比較私密，適合你們已經聊得比較熟時再問。如果她顯得不自在，就先回到較輕鬆的話題。可以用“你有沒有什麼尷尬的瞬間？”（問題29）作為過渡，因為這種問題既有趣又能拉近距離。
像“你有沒有預感自己會怎麼死？”（問題7）這種問題可能很沉重，你可以用開玩笑的語氣問：“你有沒有想過自己會不會是被外星人綁架走的？”然後再轉回正題。
不需要一次問完36個問題。可以分幾次聊天，每次挑幾個適合當下氛圍的問。重點是讓她覺得跟你聊天很舒服，而不是被逼著回答。
示例對話（中英文混合）
假設你們剛認識，正在喝咖啡：